Happiness is...

... Rounding up your friends in the park 
For a spontaneous picnic and game of rounders. One round robin text of "Grab a blanket, a bag of crisps, and a bottle of suncream*", and there we were running around the park like dogs let off their leashes. It was all fun and literal games until I full-on collided with one of them (we both dodged the same way while running at full speed. It was NOT pretty). Then it got serious for a minute because they thought I was dead. Then it went back to fun again. 

Oh, and my friend taught me how to hulahoop, at the grand old age of 28. Woop!

.... Stew in a storm
When the weather subsequently decided not to play ball, we chose not to either. Instead, we de-camped to a local pub to devour big bowls of steaming Polish stew and dumplings, curled up on Chesterfield sofas (us, not the dumplings. That would be weird). Thunderstorms don't get better than that.

... Ridiculous makeovers
I inherited a plastic bin from the previous inhabitant of my room, which was rather handy as I didn't own one at the time (ice-cream maker: yes. Bin: no. Priorities, people). After realising it was pretty much the only non-DIY-d thing on display, I decided that need to be rectified STAT...

The "before" bin. Snore.

One trip to Homesense later, and my bin was looking 18 kinds of fabulous. Ta da!

It's so ridiculous, throwing rubbish away has become instantly hilarious.

... It's pronounced "freet-za"
AKA, FREE PIZZA. Yes, that's right. FREE. PIZZA. A friend of mine somehow managed to get his jammy hands (not literally- I don't think he even likes jam that much) on 8 tickets to the opening party for Franco Manca's new Brighton restaurant. When he asked me if I wanted to go to a sourdough pizza restaurant for dinner where everything would be LITERALLY FREE, I nearly offered him my first born child. Ok, ok, I also offered to carry his. FREE. PIZZA. 

... NEON DINOSAUR THEMED CRAZY GOLF
And I thought my life had peaked at freeza.... There are no words. Thank you, thank you, Globalls (snigger) for bringing your magical presence into my life.

... Double mate dates at an ice-cream parlour
Like teenagers from the 1950's. Giggling and straw-sharing mandatory. 

So tell me - what have I missed? 

Katie xxx

*Oh, and a P.S. assuring them my phone hadn't been stolen, seeing as I was apparently texting them about sport... EURGH.

Face Off

Hello lovelies!

How's it going? You'll be relieved to hear I'm finally breaking the suspense of my last post and sharing some of the excellent faces I've seen (and pulled) in the last six weeks or so. 

The first (and by far the cutest!) is my friend's gorgeous baby enraptured by the excellent wisdom I penned in her belated actual day-of-birthday/Christmas card: 

Said advice went along the lines of "Read lots, kick arse and, above all, NEVER, EVER BE ANNE." - referring to Anne of Famous Five fame. As you may recall, Anne basically never went on adventures because she was too busy doing the washing up and recovering from the exhausting chore of making potted meat sandwiches for everyone else. COME ON, ANNE. Seriously.

This is the face of a girl who's just been given the best sweatshirt ever created by humanity. Double-sided astro-goodness, in a fabric so shiny it looks like she plays for some kind of Space Hockey team.

This one's not a human face (just in case you hadn't noticed!) but this bag's been making my face smile ever since she arrived on Thursday. She also makes me feel 27 going on 4. Who cares if the actual bag bit's so small it can only fit my keys in it?!

And y'all get a bonus face thanks to my DIY Panda Cushion

My face again, but almost recognisable thanks to my lovely trainee hairdresser house mate. I've been her model for blow-dry practice twice so far, and it's fun to see what I'd look like as a Real Girl who brushed her hair and stuff. But I've got to be honest- I really don't like my hair when it's this flat. It's impossible to hide snacks in.

Another non-human face, after treating myself to one of the fantastically talented Bex's custom wall art hoops over at The Pigeon's Nest (whose own face is prettier than a Disney Princess, btw). 

SERIOUSLY RUDDY BRILLIANT, eh?!

Last, but definitely not least- I want to introduce you to the best thing that's ever happened to me, or indeed to the universe. It's also my excuse for tenuously naming this post after a Nic Cage movie (for which I'm not even going to pretend I'm sorry). Are you ready? 




[I've left a gap here on purpose so you can prepare yourselves. Emma Kate - you might want to grab a paper bag in case you hyperventilate.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it AMAZING?! I can't decide which part I love the most - the fact that it's "signed" (this thing is about as official as me declaring myself the official face of Frosties due to my tiger facepaint), or the fact that they've Photoshopped his chest hair OVER HIS OWN BICEP. 

You may've noticed this is actually a pillowcase, but I've refused to use it as one because it'd mean that, like a small child's favourite toy, at some point it'd have to be washed - and I just couldn't bear to be be parted with it for the length of a washing machine cycle. So, instead, I've pinned it on my bedroom wall. Like the flag of an official fan club.

Have you seen any particularly brilliant faces recently? Or been given any official celebrity merchandise involving Photoshopped chest hair? Do share!

Katie xxx

A rather magical weekend

Hey m'dears!

How have you been?

I felt so relaxed after my week off I was practically floating on a cartoon cloud. I did everything I'd hoped to do and so much more. I also ate an excessive number of carbohydrates, which I'm pretty sure is what people are referring to when they use the phrase "living the dream".

Me, enthusiastically slicing carbs. Hurrah!

My outing to London Zoo on Friday far exceeded my expectations (admittedly, I was mainly expecting to fall asleep in front of the monkeys). I don't know if it was the company (charming), the caffeine (delicious), or the animals (awesome) but I was still partying 23 hours after my 2am wake-up call. And by "partying" I mean "drinking pre-made mojitos in the park", because I'm all class.

Thankfully, being up that early gave me plenty of time to research hipster coffee haunts, and The Coffee Jar more than delivered in the form of totally kick-arse white chocolate and hazelnut cookies:

I spotted all kinds of weird and wonderful critters on our way round, topped off by being INCREDIBLY brave during the Spider Walk (i.e. being put in a room with a whole bunch of BLOODY MASSIVE SPIDERS who were completely free to move around and/or jump in your face, and managing not to cry). I definitely earned the ice-cream I scoffed afterwards, and I'm pretty sure shaking from fear burns calories too.

HUUUUUGE moth. These things were so vast we all thought they were fake. Nope.

The Lesser Striped Upside-Down Bird*

Couldn't spot this guy, so I assumed that he was hiding from fish school name-taunting bullies

Although, my favourite sight of the entire day had to be this:

As for last weekend, it was literally magical, because I got to attend a Harry Potter themed Hen Do. Most of the magic was organised (fantastically!) by the Hen's sister; including HP themed goody bags, surprise boxes of (gluten free) baked goods, and amazing activities- a delicious dinner, pottery painting, and drinking so many cocktails that some girls' stomachs decided to expelliarmus their contents. Does that make throwing up sound more or less gross!?

My contribution to the weekend's agenda was a Potter-themed Scavenger Hunt, taking the Hens on a tour of Worthing and creating a legitimate excuse for some Hen Do-themed hashtags. Double win.  

Each team had an illustrated list of things to find and photograph:

The pottery painting may well have been my favourite part of the weekend, and I think it's fair to say the owner of Art-Ful is my (much cooler) kindred spirit:

Batman, Lichtenstein, incredible fonts...

... AND FAKE DEER HEADS.

This was my super-sophisticated contribution; I can't wait to get this bad boy home and full of amaretto sours.

Finally, despite seeing ocarpis, glow-in-the-dark beetles, and a man who looked like Dumbledore over the weekend, the weirdest thing I spotted has to be just how freakily disproportionate my thumb is to, well, everything else in the world. How could I never have noticed that before?!?



Seriously- have you ever seen a bigger thumb (excluding foam ones at baseball games)?!

Katie xxx

* OK, OK I made that name up. I never said I was David Attenborough**.

** I wish I was David Attenborough.

Five Things Friday

Hello lovelies!

How's your week been? My holiday's been absolute bliss so far - the perfect balance of socialising, lie-ins, creativity, reading, and Nutella - and I've still got three whole days of adventure to go!

Since waking up at TWO AYE EM this morning, I've decided to make the most of being conscious at Stupid O'clock and share a few things that've made my week extra special before heading off to The Big Smoke. I've also done a lot of eBay trawling for "pretty power tools"... Seriously- why hasn't anyone designed a polkadot hammer drill yet?! HUGE market gap there....

1. Glowasaurus 
Like the majority of people who grew up in the early nineties, my childhood bedroom ceiling was enhanced with an entirely fictitious constellation of glow in the dark stars. I'd already decided that I'll be painting the inside of my new wardrobe dark blue, and adding some kind of celestial decorations. Then I found these:

My expectations have been officially surpassed. Bravo, whoever invented these. Bravo. Also - they were also only 75p for 24! Which I'm sure you'll all agree, is totally amazeballs. 

2. Dress Code: Astro-tastic 
The space-tacular background in the photo above is the pillowcase from a duvet set my (now most favourite) friend spotted in a charity shop last weekend and practically ran to show me (her loveliness really does know no bounds). In a matter of milliseconds I went from devastated (it was only a single duvet; far too small for my bed) to ecstatic, when I realised duvet covers are basically just huge pieces of fabric - and this one was in the most epic print I've ever seen. For THREE ENGLISH POUNDS. 

Cue my first ever attempt at sewing a dress from scratch, sans-pattern. I'm pretty bloody pleased with it, even if I do say so myself. And I've even worn it outside already without it falling apart and exposing my wobbly bits too - hurrah! 

I even added pockets which, as every girl knows, are the ultimate silver lining of all good dresses. Ironically, I didn't add a lining.

Apologies - I've just realised it looks a bit like I'm flashing you my dress's lady-parts. Or perhaps my mind just gets extra filthy when it's tired. Anyway... There's still enough fabric left over to make at least 3 cushions too; which means I'll be camouflaged on my future sofa, like the World's Comfiest Ninja.

2. On Point Homewares
Earlier this week I actually WOOPED when I discovered that Primark's latest homeware collection is essentially "Hipster Chic". I've been lusting after a light-up arrow for years, but every one I've found until now has cost £60+. This one was a tenner. And I got to use it to show off my New Hair.

Despite evidence to the contrary, I swear my right eye has an iris too. It's quite similar to the other one.

The best part of this photo was that a random woman saw me taking it, despite the fact I'd basically buried myself in a hedge. I felt no shame*. 

3. Assault coursing
I spent Wednesday afternoon at a Kids' Fun Day in Brighton. With a friend and her 5 year old, I hasten to add. Not on my own like some kind of Duplo-loving weirdo... Said small child absolutely thrashed me at the assault course (that kid is a beanbag throwing CHAMPION) but I was still given a bracelet thingy as a consolation prize. 

I actually snort-laughed when I put this on. I'm surprised my wrist didn't go into shock for being touched by something sports-related. 

4. Finding interiors inspiration
In two brilliant books I browsed through in Waterstones. 

And an even more fantastic throw-back I found in a charity shop, entitled "Kevin McCloud's Decorating Book". Just check out the intro page!! *swoon*

5. Getting crafty
I've had multiple opportunities to get creative this week, which has felt like food for my soul (only marginally less pretentious, as it was all done in crayons). I've also eaten a lot of awesome food; but that's for my thighs, not my soul. 

One project has to stay super-secret for now, because it's related to this weekend's plans, but I can share this Lego card I made for a friend's little brother. Because making Lego cards is what all the cool kids are doing with their Friday nights nowadays, don'tchaknow...

Right - I'm off to the Zoo. I have a sneaking suspicion I may fall asleep in front of the monkey enclosure... 

Katie xxx

*OK, I felt medium shame.

The Enchanted Sloth & Other Stories

So, now you've all breathed a sigh of relief about the lack of piratical/outer-space-related activities in my life recently, I can get on with, err... spending at least 5 minutes wondering how one goes about becoming a SPACE PIRATE...

Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes - showing you what I've been doing recently. Here goes...

1. Feeling enchanted
I have to admit, my go-to criteria for choosing a new bottle of soap doesn't normally involve assessing it's level of enchantment (it's usually discount and/or smell, depending on my current ratio of thrifty vs. how desperately I want my hands to smell like coconut*). Then I saw this one and all previous thoughts vanished faster than one can say "Enchanté, Mademoiselle Clean-Hands". Which is what I'm forcing everyone to call me from now on.

2. Being lustful in Liberty 

Mostly in the fancy-pants homewares department. I photographed what seemed like hundreds of products I intend to purchase plagiarise the very minute I have my own place/access to my craft stuff again. These were a few of my favourites:

Awesome ceramic chopping board/tray that resembles an artist's palette

Gorgeous fonts, stars and deer? Can't imagine why this set caught my eye...

Looks like the Animals of Liberty Wood met a rather unfortunate ending too

Sneaky fancy-sofa selfie

3. Discovering

The coolest stone on the whole of Brighton beach. I'm sure you'll agree the resemblance is uncanny:

4.  Admiring Irony

Yes, the box was empty...

5. Feeling 3,000 kinds of happy

..and beyond, actually; I reached 3,000 things on this year's Happy Things List last week. THREE THOUSAND - despite my lack of TV/internet access. Not too shabby, 2015(!); especially as my 2014 list only reached 2,302 for the whole year.

No. 3,000 was a pretty good one too

6. Smiling Rye-ly

Well, it was a proper grin really - but I couldn't pass up that pun! I received this gorgeous postcard after a friend's day trip to the seaside. Spontaneously gifted postcards are definitely a winner. 

Have you ever found a stone that resembles an 80's cult movie character? Or been utterly enchanted by some soap?

Katie xxx

*The answer is normally "medium". 

Christmas Gift Guide No. 2

Hey m'dears

Happy Friday!

I'm very pleased to announce that the wait is finally over* for the second instalment of my Christmas Gift Guide series. Hurrah! This time I'm focusing on "Presents for people with a Y chromosome"; because it's a damn snappy title. 

It makes me sad that the majority of shops' "male gift" displays comprise solely of novelty socks. Do men really want for nothing more than Homer Simpson-emblazoned hosiery? I say NO. So here's a selection of alternative presents to days-of-the-week foot-gloves**:

1. Introducing the most hardcoriest bauble of all time for the Christmas-loving tough guy in your life. I actually bought myself two of these beauties already, because they remind me of medieval maces. Aka the spirit of Christmas.

2. This corkscrew is definitely the most piratical kitchen accessory I've ever seen. Pair it with a bottle of Sailor Jerry's and you've got yourself a party. Just ignore the fact that Sailor Jerry's comes in screw-top bottles...

3. If your fella needs fancying-up, this Mr Dapper clothes brush will get him looking spick and span. Bonus points for the fact it looks much more expensive than the £6 price tag.

4. No man should have to suffer through life with a mundane camera strap when there are camera straps like this in the world. Sort it out.

5. Does your old man have even older eyes? Perhaps not, as that's not scientifically possible, but a lack of scientific evidence is no excuse to hold back from buying this magnifier bookmark.

6. For brothers whose love of the Brat Pack is equalled only by a love of brunch, this poster is the bacon-embellished art of their dreams. Optional extra; garnish with a gift tag made of bacon.

7. Pretty much the flashiest flash drive around (except for one that's actually The Flash), this Captain America memory stick will heroically guard your private documents against evil. 

8. If there's one thing I know about men, it's that they like boobs. Sadly, one cannot buy boobs on the internet (well, not with free shipping anyway), so instead why not buy them this beer bread mix? It's almost as good as boobs. Probably.

Katie xxx

*I know you've only been waiting since Sunday, but don't you also feel like your whole life has been waiting for this moment? No?

**I ran out of alternative words for socks.

Christmas Gift Guide No. 1

Given that the Christmas season involves hot wine and novelty jumpers, it may surprise newer readers to find out that my favourite part of the festivities is actually Christmas gift guides. Just when you thought you knew me, eh? 

I've therefore decided (all of three seconds ago) to publish a series of gift guides this year, as my way of giving back to the internet for all the guides I've previously drooled over like a collage-loving Doberman*. Due to my ad-hoc approach to blogging, I can't confirm how many posts there'll be in said series, but I can promise there'll be at least one (spoiler: it's this one). 

I particularly like gift guides that are themed around price, recipient, or colour, because compartmentalising things makes me happy. So I've themed Gift Guide No. 1 as "People like me", to help you buy presents for anyone you know who loves dinosaurs, millionaire shortbread, and stuff covered in maps**. You're welcome.

1. Is your Mum ashamed of her boring, regular doormat? Help her save face with future guests by buying her this one as a replacement.
2. Do you wish your girlfriend's lips taste like ice-cream 24/7, instead of the meagre 20 hours a day when she's actually eating ice-cream? This lip balm has answered your wish. 
3. If you can't afford a trip to the Arctic with your fiancée, this necklace is basically the same thing.
4. The festive colours in this tartan dress make it a great outfit for Christmas Day; and it's the perfect shape to hide a Christmas dinner food baby.
5. This plate has all the romance of a dinner under the stars, without the numb fingers. 
6. Give your sweetheart something even sweeter, such as this jarful of peanut and salted caramel chocolate from my her favourite chocolatiers. 
7. Do your sister's legs look like rabbits? No?! Sort it out with these tights, stat!
8. Buy her this brooch. That is all.
9. While this globe is pretty expensive, one really can't put a price on education, and your niece might be secretly unsure about which countries are actually in Europe...
10. These towels will make your daughter feel like she's being dried off with fluffy sunshine.  
11. If your aunt is too lazy for proper baking, this mug is perfect for making mug cakes. Buy two, and maybe she'll bake one for you too. 
12. Part humbug sweet, part Beetlejuice, this clutch bag is all class.  

Seen any good gift guides recently?***

Katie xxx

*I probably didn't need to specify collage-loving. I mean, has anyone ever met a Doberman who DIDN'T love collages? They're definitely the best scrapbookers of the canine world.

**If you don't know anyone else who'd appreciate these things, but still want to buy them, feel free to tweet me for my address...

*** Apart from this one, obviously.

Freebie Friday

Happy Friday!

Have you got nice plans for the weekend?

Mine's started pretty darn well with another session of free shopping, this time thanks to L'Oreal Paris who sent me £15 of vouchers to apologise for my recent hair dye disaster. Lady Luck was clearly on my side because Superdrug is currently running a multitude of discount offers on L'Oreal products :) 

Now, as most of you will know, aside from a good face scrub I don't give two hoots about skincare so, to ensure I only chose products I'd actually use, I opted for all the orange ones...

Ok, the orange part was just a coincidence; but I do like that they're all matchy-matchy. I chose the face scrubs because they were two-for-£5 (with an RRP of £4.49) and they smell like marmalade. I'm hoping the Age Perfect Serum (which was half price) will make me 22 again. Or at least stop my skin drying out this winter. I had to buy the shampoo because the voucher wouldn't work until I spent £15 (instead of £14.99- grrr!), and it was the cheapest product I could find. I reckon the rest is a pretty good haul seeing as it was free!

I had another stroke of luck a few weeks ago with my new yellow trunks. They were delivered while I was at work, so I was rather surprised when another box arrived later that evening containing two more! I left it unopened while I considered the moral dilemma of whether to return them. It was only after I discovered that the first set were actually both dented that I decided to open the second box, and found out one of those was dented too. So I've decided to count the second set as the replacements I would've requested for the dented ones anyway. 

This means I've got two in the dining room, and two in the bedroom (where I originally intended them to go) storing my summer clothes to make more room in the wardrobe.  

Our bedroom isn't actually a watercolour painting, by the way- it was just really dark in there due to The Storm*, so I decided to play with the filters on my phone camera and mess it up properly. 

Katie xxx

* I'm assuming it's a storm, but it might be God's wrath because I decided to keep the second set of trunks... 

P.S. Sorry to anyone who assumed from the title that this going to be free things for you! Although I have got a giveaway on the go at the moment...