New beardginnings

Well, hi there!!

Gosh, there's a lot of spiderwebs and dust bunnies around here... Hang on a second while I whip around with the vacuum cleaner...

Apologies - I've been rather distracted with setting up and running my own graphic design, illustration and animation business - CommuniKate Design Limited - feel free to hop on over if you'd like to have a snoop :) 

Right. That's better. 

So - how ARE you?! What's new? What's the same? What's with the non-chronological Instagram feed*? So many questions...

So, I'm back. With a rather exciting announcement... Nope- not that! The bump's made of nothing more than excessive quantities of pizza (I'm thinking of calling it Margaret-a. Marge for short). 

My news is that I'm making a return to blogging. Right now (literally as I type), and in pre-penned, scheduled future posts. But it's not going to be on here... 

Oh, I also met a chameleon this summer. Winning at life, right?!

Instead, I'm setting up residence as the in-house blogger for EastWing Grooming Co. - a new company selling seriously excellent men's grooming products, co-owned by my friend James. Beards aren't really my area of expertise (although you'll all know how much I appreciate a good one- my love for Joe is still going strong!), but James has said I can write about anything I darn well please. So it's essentially going to be Hook, Line & Sink Her Part 2... 

The products look pretty damn fancy too, huh?

Obviously, James has no idea what he's let himself in for, as I'm currently working out how many posts I can write about perfect Nicolas Cage movie & biscuit combos:

- Con Air and custard creams

- Face Off and jammy dodgers

- It Could Happen To You and chocolate hobnobs... 

You get the idea. 

There'll also be travel posts, top tips about Brighton, and probably a few interior design posts too - as I've finally moved into my very own flat! Cue spending all my pocket money in the children's lighting section of Ikea...

And building a splashback out of Lego...

So, if you'd like to hear more about what I've been up to (and find out more about some seriously delicious-smelling beard products) I'm going to be wittering away over here for the foreseeable future. I can't wait to see your lovely faces again!! 

Katie xxx

*Yes, I know that was ages ago- but I'm still confused by it.

Happiness is...

... Rounding up your friends in the park 
For a spontaneous picnic and game of rounders. One round robin text of "Grab a blanket, a bag of crisps, and a bottle of suncream*", and there we were running around the park like dogs let off their leashes. It was all fun and literal games until I full-on collided with one of them (we both dodged the same way while running at full speed. It was NOT pretty). Then it got serious for a minute because they thought I was dead. Then it went back to fun again. 

Oh, and my friend taught me how to hulahoop, at the grand old age of 28. Woop!

.... Stew in a storm
When the weather subsequently decided not to play ball, we chose not to either. Instead, we de-camped to a local pub to devour big bowls of steaming Polish stew and dumplings, curled up on Chesterfield sofas (us, not the dumplings. That would be weird). Thunderstorms don't get better than that.

... Ridiculous makeovers
I inherited a plastic bin from the previous inhabitant of my room, which was rather handy as I didn't own one at the time (ice-cream maker: yes. Bin: no. Priorities, people). After realising it was pretty much the only non-DIY-d thing on display, I decided that need to be rectified STAT...

The "before" bin. Snore.

One trip to Homesense later, and my bin was looking 18 kinds of fabulous. Ta da!

It's so ridiculous, throwing rubbish away has become instantly hilarious.

... It's pronounced "freet-za"
AKA, FREE PIZZA. Yes, that's right. FREE. PIZZA. A friend of mine somehow managed to get his jammy hands (not literally- I don't think he even likes jam that much) on 8 tickets to the opening party for Franco Manca's new Brighton restaurant. When he asked me if I wanted to go to a sourdough pizza restaurant for dinner where everything would be LITERALLY FREE, I nearly offered him my first born child. Ok, ok, I also offered to carry his. FREE. PIZZA. 

... NEON DINOSAUR THEMED CRAZY GOLF
And I thought my life had peaked at freeza.... There are no words. Thank you, thank you, Globalls (snigger) for bringing your magical presence into my life.

... Double mate dates at an ice-cream parlour
Like teenagers from the 1950's. Giggling and straw-sharing mandatory. 

So tell me - what have I missed? 

Katie xxx

*Oh, and a P.S. assuring them my phone hadn't been stolen, seeing as I was apparently texting them about sport... EURGH.

Sharpie Shoes DIY

Hello lovelies!

Happy Friday! Have you got nice plans for the weekend? 

It feels like a really long time since I posted a DIY tutorial. Probably because all my recent crafting has involved making clothes from duvet covers, and those tutorials would go something like:
1. Cut up duvet. 
2. Sew bits of it together until it covers you enough that you don't get arrested.

This one is much simpler to explain, with the added bonus of nostalgia. Until this week I'd completely forgotten that I used to draw on my shoes as a teen; my favourites were some canvas high-tops Biro-d with Batman and Spiderman (this was before official comic book Converse. Yes, kids, I'm that old). It's safe to say my Mum's LEAST favourite pair were the new school shoes I swirled with black glitter paint; which earned me detention and had to be immediately replaced (that was pretty much the only time I got into trouble at school. Naturally, it was glitter-related). Oops.

I had to go Work Shoe Shopping earlier this week, which I tend to find rather depressing because my clown-sized feet only fit into Boring Shoes from the men's section. And I'm just not a boring shoe kind of person. Luck was on my side this time, when I found a pair of black Chelsea-style boots in the Topman sale- I even managed to wrangle an extra discount because one of them had a silver pen mark on the toe... *Cue Contemplative Evil Genius face and a detour into WH Smiths*

Shoes before. YAAAAAWN.

I'm sure a lot of you are thinking "Oh, those are lovely as they are; why would you scribble on them?". The answer, my friends, is SHINY. Yes, that is a legitimate answer. And here's the maths to go with it:

Boots + silver Sharpie + an hour or so of spare time =

Hurrah! It's like WALKING ON SPACE. Which I'm pretty sure basically makes me a qualified astronaut. 

Let's just all keep our fingers crossed my boss doesn't give me detention...

Katie xxx

Three Things Tuesday

Ola my loves! How are you all?  

Want to hear what I've been up to lately*? OK. Hold on to your halter-tops - here we go:

1. Improving Tuesdays. Forever.
We all agree that Tuesday is the worst day of the week, amiright? And we also know that cheese makes everything better. Combine the two, and what do you get? Cheeseday, of course. Three cheers for Cheeseday!

I have the perfect illustration for the joy that is Cheeseday, thanks to a recent lunchtime visit to my grandparents'. My Nan asked me with genuine concern if I thought she'd bought enough cheese:

There were three of us. And that's a dinner plate.

2. Just don't ask for a fork...
I wouldn't usually expect to see "Tip not included. Oh, and you have to shag the chef" scrawled at the bottom of my bill; but it's good to have that cleared up once and for all...

3. Getting Crunk(le)
May heralds the start of the springtime Artists Open Houses festival; the perfect combination of pretty (arts and crafts) and nosy (snooping around strangers' houses). This spring my favourite house from the Christmas trail is running a weekly competition to win a crunkle; one that's been handfired in their very own flat! What is a crunkle, I hear you ask? Blooming ADORABLE, that's what. They look a bit like ceramic sea sponges, and can be popped over the top of a tealight for some instant pretty. 

I took to the crunkle selfie challenge like a fish to water, and decided to channel my (not so inner) mermaid. And I only went and bloody won! That's the power of boobs, that is. 

Rugby Road is open every weekend until the end of May- along with most of the other houses - and I cannot recommend a visit strongly enough! Who knows, you might win a crunkle too!

What have you been up to lately? 

Katie xxx

* Because, if not, I should warn you that's a bit of a theme here - so you might want to check out the rest of the internet instead! 

In April I...

... became older and wiser
Ok, the second part's a lie. But I AM older. Partly because of science (I'm older now than when I started writing this sentence. And older still... And even OLDER... *dashes to the mirror in search of wrinkles*) and also because I've had one of those birthday things. Like I'm the Queen or something.

Birthday card extraordinaire, courtesy of the beautiful and talented Skye

I managed to stretch this year's celebrations over three whole days: a Work Birthday, a Birthday Party Day, and my Actual Birthday. My Work Birthday included a DIY-d "birthday" balloon (from a recent awards ceremony) and a "2 and 8" badge duo, where the "2" badge was sans safety pin. Because two year olds aren't allowed safety pins... Bahaha

The rest of the celebrations involved surprise homemade cupcakes(!) smuggled into the pub, midnight tuaca shots, a drunken speech, and seriously epic presents; some made my eyes go all watery like they were made of happy puddles, others made me squeal like a piglet who'd just won a trip to Disneyland. 

What do you get the girl who has everything? A ghost, of course!

I was hastily told while unwrapping this that it was "a comedy gift"
and wasn't a hint about my wrinkly face...

... Listened to Celine Dion. Repeatedly
To the point where my phone has now started sending me prompts:

My addiction to Think Twice is getting seeeeerrrriiiioooooussss. 

... Ate a salad.
Yes. SALAD. 

Mostly to shut my phone up, after it started making pointed comments about my cake consumption to exercise ratio (all : nothing)...

... demolished 18 cheeseboards
Well, I had to do SOMETHING to counteract that salad. I've made a shiny new group of friendlings recently, and cheeseboards have become Our Thing. This has resulted in two supermarket trips organised specifically for cheese shopping, and earlier this week a few of us actually went on a cheeseboard CRAWL. It's safe to say my life has never been so brilliantly cheesy.

Just a standard TuesCheeseday...

So, what have I missed? Tell me EVERYTHING!

Katie xxx

Deliveroo Breakfast Review

I've always assumed that one of the Top Five Things about being a Princess is having breakfast delivered to your bed every single day. Thanks to my penchant for singing for no reason, I've also suspected that, if I ever became a princess I'd be a Disney one. Both points were confirmed yesterday morning when a flock of cheery Deliveroo birds* arrived carrying breakfast!!! OMG I KNOW, RIGHT?!

It wasn't a complete surprise, given that Deliveroo's new Pretend To Be A Princess BREAKFAST DELIVERY SERVICE (I'll wait a minute to let that sink in... *counts to sixty elephants*) lets you order the night before. Which is not only genius, but also the reason I spent 45 minutes drooling over their new breakfast restaurant partners' menus on Friday night trying to choose between a smoothie or a huge stack of pancakes. I mean, who was I trying to kid?!

This resulted in a flock of early birds arriving outside my front door at 9.30am (right on time) carrying a bag of piping hot deliciousness from the lovely folks at LangeLee's:

Roy and Susie were incredibly helpful, but Lucy was too busy trying to get at the maple syrup...

My co-breakfaster and I opted for Langlee's homemade pancakes with fresh fruit and maple syrup, and the veggie version of their veggie/vegan "Brighton" fry-up (which includes a fried egg). We added a couple of fresh juices to make me feel better about swerving the healthy smoothie option... and then I noticed that Langlee's breakfast menu includes "Homemade Peppermint Crisp Millionaire Shortbread". Well, who am I to argue with a chef on what is considered suitable breakfast fare?! 

Gary kept trying to get at the tinfoil-wrapped toast every time my back was turned... 

The birds decided to hang around and help us unpack each of the goody-filled boxes;the best kind of unpacking. My only criticism (aside from Bob's useless unpacking skills- it's as if he doesn't have thumbs!) was that the millionaire shortbread and packet of butter had been put in the bag with the hot food, so they were a little, err, melty... The silver lining was that this made the butter easier to spread, and a few minutes in the fridge sorted the cake out in the end.

The pancakes were really light and fluffy, and there was a seriously generous portion of fruit; much more than I'd expected! The berries made me feel almost virtuous, despite consuming approximately a gallon and a half of maple syrup. 

The fry-up was full of the (veggie) classics; cooked tomatoes, wonderfully garlicky mushrooms, and a hash brown, plus some really tasty wilted baby spinach and quite possibly the best vegan sausage I've ever had. 

Obviously, if you wanted to make it look fancier, you could plate everything up properly for a seriously glamorous breakfast-in-bed scenario. Or, if you happen to hate washing up (and your Princess Experience doesn't come with a washing-up fairy) the tubs are good enough to eat out of! 

The cherry on top of the (pan)cake was remembering midway through the afternoon that I still had a slab of millionaire shortbread in the fridge. And, my oh my, was it good. Breakfast AND afternoon tea in one. Hurrah!

I'd heartily recommend using Deliveroo for a breakfast in bed delivery to anyone who likes, well, food. Who WOULDN'T want a huge stack of pancakes arriving at their bedside without even having to ring for the butler?!

Katie xxx

* Disclaimer: I was lucky enough to get this breakfast courtesy of Deliveroo, but all opinions are my own. Deliveroo would also like me to issue a disclaimer that they cannot guarantee every delivery will be brought by friendly birds. Sometimes it will be an equally lovely person on a (motor)bike.

For my homies

I've been feeling extra warm and fuzzy of late, like my insides are wearing a fleecy onesie; a sensation caused by being infinitely grateful for my very own set of special snowflakes who...

1. Cook me dinner
If it wasn't for them, I'd probably forget what a kitchen even looks like. Their grub is better than any restaurant's; not just because it tastes of love (the most important ingredient of all, obvs) but due to the fantastic company I get to share it with. Putting the world to rights over homemade pesto is my idea of bliss. We don't do a bad brunch either: 

2. Make sure I don't miss YMCA
By smuggling me into the men's toilets because the women's queue is crazy long and we need to get back to the dancefloor STAT.

3. Provide the perfect hangover cure
Combining country walks (massive sunglasses a must)...

... Easter egg rolling and graveyard exploring...

...and a bunny biscuit from the local farmhouse, to be eaten while sitting on the Long Man of Wilmington's face....

Which still makes you snort-laugh, despite being the age of almost eight and twenty. 

4. Got me one step closer to completing my Bucket List
Which has only contained one item since I was 13: Go on The Crystal Maze. I have yet to buy tickets for the London one, but Handmade Mysteries' Exit Game was a fantastic replacement! I can think of much worse ways to spend a Wednesday night than with 5 of my favourite people, using torches, blacklights and our smarts to solving a series of clues to get a bottle of magic wine out of a wardrobe... 

5. Share those life-changing moments
Like the time you find The One(!!) in the chiller cabinet at the Co-op (who knew?!) and end up laughing so hysterically your face turns inside out and you literally cannot stop crying. 

6. Nurture my (not so) inner nerd
By inviting me to three-day-long role-playing festivals, breaking out card games in the pub, and hosting house parties with entertainment provided by their very own apps(!). Humdingers has improved my Friday nights for ever more. I truly adore my gang of charades-playing, dice-rolling, logic-puzzling people; even if they mercilessly force me to act out phrases like "Julia Roberts eating a hot dog". 

Katie xxx

Hangovers, Hipsters and Hygge

Bonsoir mes petites cerises!

How have you BEEN?! It's only ruddy Friday, innit! Three cheers for the weekend- let's crack open the wine. 

I'm still daydreaming about last weekend, when I easy-jetted off on a mini-break to Paris and Copenhagen. I was already expecting it to be a whole heap of magic, and that was before I found out there were complimentary copies of Men's Health magazine available on the flight to Paris... 

WHAT?! I'll have you know I read Men's Health magazine ALL. THE. TIME.

In what felt like mere milliseconds we were landing en France. At least, I assume it was that fast; I was engrossed in a very informative article on the best vegan recipes to increase my muscle mass. Yes, that IS what I was staring at so intensely. Shush.  

I'm lucky enough to have been to Paris several times before, so I stepped up to be a real life Lonely Planet for my travel buddy's first ever visit. Paris was as beautiful as ever, from the gorgeous gothic buildings to the perfect places for people watching... Hell, it's so chic even their vegetables are on trend:

We managed to fit in some serious sightseeing during our two day visit, from the classics (Louvre, Tour Eiffel, Sacre Coeur etc etc) to the more unusual (fancy escalator rides at the Pompidou Centre, the red light district's no 1 Erotic Museum, and a karaoke bar in which we heard a song where the entire chorus comprised solely of "la la la la la"). After our Museum visit, I felt like I should've had a quiet word with Notre Dame about its cheeky fundraising sign...

Sorry, love, but I've seen more impressive organs this weekend...

We also (literally) stumbled upon the most fabulous bar I've visited in my entire life. With house punch at €15 a litre, a bar-wide game of "find your pair" using playing cards, and colour-coded glowsticks for "taken" (red), "single" (green), and blue for "try and convince me" I was in my absolute element. Even the unsolicited offer of sex in a car (seriously, Paris?! Aren't you the city of romance?!) couldn't ruin the evening. 

Car sex in Paris: about as romantic as holding someone up by their right boob

Admittedly, this was mostly because I was too busy chatting to a tres, TRES beautiful French-Brazilian couple who'd met on Instagram(!!!), and the Brazilian then moved across the world to marry his husband (now of 3 years). Which may honestly be the most adorable story I've ever heard. And also the main reason I'm going to up my Instagramming...

...Possibly starting with this snap of a door I saw in Copenhagen.
That should snag me a beautiful French husband, right?

Copenhagen was the second stop on our mini tour of Europe. I think it might be my Spirit Animal in city form (Spirit City? Is that a thing?). 

Some seriously stylish cauliflower soup at the Museum of Danish Design.

It's almost achingly hipster, from the Ikea-chic tumblers of red wine we sipped (and I mean s.i.p.p.e.d. Copenhagen is crazy expensive) at a meatlocker-turned-bistro, to the rainbow of canal-side cottages we glimpsed through a perfectly timed flurry of snow, to the underground patisseries full of comfy leather sofas and be-cheekboned Danes serving up huge slices of cheesecake...



Also, their money is so pretty I've started wearing it like jewellery:

The icing on the cake (besides all the actual cake) was being bumped up to the easyjet equivalent of first class on our way home, when Dan (the man, the legend, the air steward) moved us into the over-wing exit aisle seats - I could actually STRETCH my legs(!!!) Bliss. 

All in all, an utterly brilliant first break of 2016. And, given that the flights cost a total of £69, I've got no excuse not to hop on over to Europe more often in future. I'm off to browse AirBnBs in Berlin...

Katie xxx

Three Things Thursday

Hello lovelies!

How's your week going? 

Mine's been many types of delicious; two of which I'm sharing with you today. Along with one other thing, because my Alliterative OCD demands it*. Here we go.

1. What you call cheese that isn't yours
NACHO CHEESE!

That, my friends is a Giant Thai Nacho platter. Looking at all that melty goodness genuinely makes my heart hurt (with love and nostalgia. Not because my arteries are screaming). 

2. That's a wrap
What do you do when you've run out of wrapping paper and there's a present-related emergency? Praise Kirsty Allsopp that you didn't throw away the fabric scraps left over from your dressing gown project, that's what. 

I've just realised the present now reads "large bony frill" right across the top. Haha. Luckily, I know the recipient will appreciate it.

3. *hums the wedding march*
I would've come up with a pun, but I'm too busy doodling Mrs Deadpool on all my notebook. The o's in Deadpool are heart-shaped... I went to see it on Monday night, and I honest to blog cannot remember the time I laughed that much in the cinema. Pre-Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds hadn't even featured on my radar of People What I Think Look Well Lush. But now I'm genuinely considering changing my dating profiles to read "Only Deadpool need apply". Especially now Joe's gone and broken my heart by getting all married and stuff... 

Let's all just take a moment to appreciate this: 

Although, to be honest, I am also a bit in love with in-the-movie Mrs Deadpool too:

It's almost too much pretty to take in.

What've you been up to this week? 

Katie xxx

* Yes, I know Two also starts with T; but who wants to read a list with other two things in it?!

Six Things Saturday

Hello lovelies!!

Happy weekend!! Let's break out the bubbly and dance on the table! 

Here's a quick snapshot of six swell things currently contributing to my cheery exterior. Ready?

1. Cardtastrophy
Have you and a friend ever started a competition to buy each other the worst possible birthday card? Mine's been going on for years now... Here's my latest contribution (he loved it, obvs). 

2. Old school #selfie
My work put up dividers between our desks this week, and I was so worried my colleague would miss being able to see my face at all times that I pinned this to her side of the barrier. She was, of course, incredibly relieved.

3. Dream Land
My friend's kids recently took it upon themselves to think up some millionaire-making business ideas. Their shortlist included this gem: 

But they settled on writing a full business plan for "Dream Land", which appeared to be some kind of theme park/petting zoo/holiday resort hybrid: 

I think we can all agree those kids would KILL IT on Dragons' Den. From the "big meeting room - for work people" to the inclusion of "all species - (even aliens)" they left no entertainment-related stone unturned.

4. Cold comfort
Today's lunch consistent of a packet of Moroccan-style soup combined with some super-speedy couscous. My winter-chilled bones were incredibly grateful, and it made me feel like I was back in the souks. Totally winning at lunch. 

5. Comic strip
This month my Book Club decided we'll all read a comic of our choosing, then do show-and-tell over cocktails. To be brutally honest, I've struggled to find any comics I've actually enjoyed (why are you all so dark and miserable, comic book writer people?!), but I think I'm finally starting to see the attraction...

6. Heart attack
Well, where else would you keep the empty box from the Valentine's from your BFF?!

What's been making you giddy with delight lately?

Katie xxx