8 June 2015

*Waves so enthusiastically she falls over*

Hello my darlings!! 

How are you all?! What have I missed?! And how the hell is it JUNE already?!?

Just in case you were wondering, I haven't been abducted by aliens/pirates/the circus. Despite spending the last three months loitering on a street corner wearing starry deely-boppers, twirling a hula hoop, and teaching a parrot all my favourite swears... 

Ok, that's a lie*. 

I'm truly sorry it's been so long; I've missed you all like crazy. But, sadly, I still(!) don't have regular internet access in my life. Or a TV. I'm this close to having nightmares about the number of cat memes I've missed out on, and I've developed a nervous tic every time someone mentions the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

What HAVE I been up to, I hear you think. That's right. I can hear people think now. I've been using my TV-free evenings to develop telepathic superpowers. And make a rag rug. 

Alright, alright - those are also lies. I'm playing with fire here, huh? Three months' absence, and then I return with a whole pile of untrue things. 

So, before you abandon this place forever, I'd best tell you some things I've actually been doing:

1. Turning 27. 
My birthday rolled around in April like a giant glitter ball, so I chose to celebrate somewhere with an even bigger one; Creams ice-cream and waffle house. My fellow celebrants sneakily informed the waitresses that it was my birthday, and I was subsequently presented with a candle-bedecked ice-cream sundae so large it made my face do this:

2. Placing at the Dinolympics
Well, technically I came third. Or at least that's what it looks like after I decided to combine my DIY copper-covered T-rex pendant onto the gorgeous turquoise ribbon Skye used to wrap my birthday present. 

3. Dancing like a loon
In the living room, the kitchen, the shower (carefully), at weddings, and at actual clubs that don't close until the sun comes up... I've decided to recapture my booty-shaking youth, and embraced tinnitus as my new best friend. 

4. Laughing at the little things
Including angry carbohydrates...

 ...Takeaway menu typos...

"Hello? Yes - can you please cover my grandmother in honey and chicken?"

... And the best dinosaur name I've EVER heard:

I bet he got all the girlosaurs...

5. Doing some learnin's
On a day out to the Big Smoke. I got to pretend my hands were squirrels...

... Discovered that diplodocusseses had STONES IN THEIR BELLIES(!!)...


... Saw an awesome robot....

... And found the evidence I always knew existed:

So, what have I missed? Please feel free to include links to the cream of the latest kitty videos in the comments below.

Katie xxx

*It's been four months. 


  1. I want to customise my own nan now...

    1. Do it! What topping do you think would go best with your nan? xxx

  2. Well HELLO! I am rubbish! I wrote you a letter TWO weeks ago which is STILL sitting on my bedside table waiting for me to find my address book and write it on the envelope!!!
    SO nice to hear from you! Loving the diwangosaurus and the dino necklace- coollLLLLL!!!! Brilliant ice-cream too!

    Ok, so here is a Siamese cat video- they don't like showers

    Missed you!!!!!!x

    1. Hey lovely!! I've missed you too! Glad to hear there's only been a postal delay; was trying to remember what I wrote in the last one and if it was full of offensive dramas (probably :p). Thank you for the Siamese cat video; t'was brilliant xxx

  3. Great post! Was happy to see a post from you - have been missing reading your posts.
    That takeaway menu typo made me laugh. And I hope you had a great birthday! That sundae looks delicious - you lucky thing! :)

    1. Aww - thank you m'dear :) I'm certainly not planning to take such a long hiatus again! I had a brilliant birthday thank you; that sundae was the literal cream on top of the cake xxx

  4. Hahahah! Best dinosaur name EVER. I totally didn't know that about stones in bellies, either?? I hope you had a splendid birthday, my wee birthday twin. And pelvic floor twin. I think we might be the same person... Xx

    1. I know; turns out the NHM is educational and hilarious in equal measure. I think you may be right! xxx

  5. Very glad to see you back! That ice cream looks amazing and I love menu typos! Aside from the 'Nan' who knew chocolate naans were a thing?! Sounds wrong but intriguing at the same time... xxx

    1. Thanks lovely :) The ice cream was utterly delicious (and a perfectly sensible, grown-up dessert for a 27 year old... :p). I was SO tempted to ask for one. I'm just going to have to go back again :) xxx

  6. Missed your face long time. Like really truly. In fact you came back just before I was planning to send in the web police to check on you...by which I mean stalk you incessantly till I knew.
    I've met a bloke with the same prefix as that 'osaurus. True story*.
    Your return is most welcome sausage. Most welcome indeed. Not sure what you've missed though. We landed on the moon...?
    M x
    *Ok it's not, your lies are catching.

    1. I missed you tooo!! It's been too bloody long; although I kind of wish I'd waited now I know being stalked by you was an option!
      Oooh - tell me more about this moon landing?! xxx

  7. That dinosaur name is totally awesome!
    Happy belated birthday...love that treat you got!no such thing as too much ice cream, right?

    Giant unicorns really exist! The world makes sense after all.

    P.s. I dance when noone is watching all the time...sometimes even when people are watching!

    1. Thank you! There's definitely no such thing as too much ice-cream; especially on one's birthday :p

      Keep up the dancing! The Giant Unicorns will be proud of you! xxx

  8. Welcome back! So glad to hear you weren't abducted. I WAS thinking of calling the police...
    You really must get a telly. I rely on you to tell me when Made in Chelsea is back.
    Happy belated birthday. Don't you just love it when pudding makes your face do that? xxxx

    1. Thanks love! It's good to be back. She says; despite the fact it's already been well over a week since her last post. Ahem. I really do need a telly; there's got to be a new series soon, right?! xxx