17 April 2013

The Princess and the Paperchase

Once upon a time there lived an girl called Katie an anonymous Princess. Said Princess had to spend her Wednesday attending a Team Building Day thingummy for work. 

The day itself was pretty average, but there were two Very Good things about it, and one Very Bad thing. The Princess decided to narrate the Very Good and Very Bad things as a Bad Thing sandwich, and these therefore compromised of; awesome cakes (including toffee muffins), a total lack of drinking water, and lots of free magazines. 

Artist's impression of what the Princess stack of free magazines may have looked like

Due to the Very Bad thing, the Princess spent most of the day feeling really thirsty. Her body did not feel tea, coffee, or juice were an acceptable alternative, because it was used to the Princess glugging at least 8 pints of regular water a day. 

Thanks to the Very Good things, the Princess had a belly full of toffee muffin and a ridiculously heavy bag of free magazines to lug back with her on the train. 

The Princess intended to buy a bottle of water on the way to the train station, because she was SO THIRSTY she was willing to part with 60-odd pence for something she could get at home for free. However, she didn't pass close to a shop on her way to the station and, due to lugging an incredibly heavy bag of magazines, decided against detouring to the nearest supermarket and hopped straight on the train home. 

"It's alright," the Princess said to herself (in her head- she's not one of those muttering-out-loud-on-the-train weirdos), "I will walk home at top speed with my bag of magazines and drink a pint of water the minute I get through the door. Despite the fact my mouth feels like the middle of the Sahara, I'm 85% sure I won't die of dehydration on the walk home."

The Princess set off from the station as fast as her legs could carry her, her entire being focused on the thought of a huge glass of water, and how refreshing it would feel to her parched throat. She hurried along, head down, clutching her bag of magaziney goodness. Halfway home, she crossed the High Street, and.... she felt her Stationery Senses tingle. 

The Princess looked up and saw that THE NEW PAPERCHASE SHOP HAD FINALLY OPENED. The Princess didn't even break stride as she spun a complete 180 and headed into the shop like a Princess on a Mission. 

Fifteen minutes later, she emerged, and headed for home. Yes, her arms were starting to shrivel from lack of moisturise, and her mouth was actually puckering as if she were sucking on a lemon (oh, if only she'd had some lemon juice to drink!) but she no longer cared; thanks to the bag that swung from her hand. 

The Princess made it home, but only just, before collapsing into a pile of dust. 

And the moral of the story? Should the anonymous Princess ever be lost in a desert, there's no way she would bother walking toward a perceived oasis; for fear that it would turn out to be a mirage. But, if she were to catch a glimpse of a hazy purple stationery shop wavering in the distance, she would crawl on hands and knees to see if it was real. 

Thankfully, the odds are much greater that the Princess will one day become lost in a dessert; and she's very well equipped to get out of that situation- thanks to rigorous training. 


  1. The princess must be related to my fiance- for he too, would do such a thing! Poor you, no water!x

    1. It wasn't ME, Kezzie- it was the anonymous princess :p A love of stationery AND musical Sylvanian presents? Your fiancé sounds excellent :) xx


  2. This princess sounds like someone I know.....