The one with the anti-party tricks

Hello lovelies!

Happy Friday Eve :)

Ever since I shared my super powers party tricks, I've been worried some of you may not be sleeping due to an all-consuming jealousy of my knife-shunning, fly-banishing, human-pigeony mad skillz. I've decided to burst that bubble, for the sake of your beauty sleep*, and tell you about a few of the ridiculously silly things I’m definitely not so good at. General life things, I mean - not crafty ones; although I have shared those before.

1. Making tea.
Despite being able to cook a number of fancy(ish) delicious things, time after time it’s the simple cuppa that stumps me. I desperately want to become The Perfect Hostess, and therefore offer all our guests tea on a half-hourly basis, but I often give them tea so wrong that it’s basically an insult.

I'm blaming my consistent failure on the fact I have my own tea so milky it matches my pasty skin. Perhaps it's just as well I'm incapable of tanning, as I'd otherwise be unable to demonstrate my tea preference. My own predilection causes me to second- and third-guess the amount of milk I put in other people’s cuppas, and it's amazing how much I can mess up what is essentially hot water, a tea bag, and milk. Sorry, guests!

Maybe I need to get some of these?

2. Spatial awareness.
I have absolutely zero spatial awareness, whether in relation to inanimate objects (like parked cars.... *ahem*) or my own body. Despite the fact I've had the same hips and elbows for nearly 26 years, I still appear to forget how far they stick out.

This e-card I spotted on Pinterest really rings true for me. On an average day I reckon I’m about 16% bruise.

[image source] 

For example, last night I managed to smash my own nose with a plastic lunch box. I'm just glad that I didn't have two black eyes today, because I don't know how I would've explained that at work!

3. Eating salad.
I've never understood the cliché of women ordering salad on a first date. Many, many moons ago, when I used to go on a date or two, I would NEVER have ordered a salad. Partly because carbs are way better than salad, and also because if I try to eat a plate of salad, I end up looking like this:

Luckily for me, since I met Tom I no longer have to make the "what to eat on a first date" decision. Three cheers for finding a boy who not only fully supports my love of carbs, but who also still thinks I'm beautiful even when I have salad dressing in my eyebrow. Hurrah!

What are you good at? And what are you oddly hopeless at? Please do share- I'd love to hear!

Katie xxx

* Not that you need it, you gorgeous things!!

Party Tricks

Hello m'dears!

I hope you're all having a wonderful week. 

This post has been inspired by a conversation about "party tricks" that took place on my recent holiday to Norfolk, and a subsequent sharing on twitter. I've always considered myself to be a rather party-trick-free person; partly due to focusing on the things I can't do (roll my tongue, roll my "r"s, hula-hoop... basically anything involving rolling), and partly because I think for a lot of people their "party trick" is something so normal to them that they don't consider it to be anything that others would get excited about. 

As I thought about it more (and my lovely friends gave their suggestions about "that weird thing you do with...") I discovered I actually have several "party tricks"; but had never realised they were trick-worthy! 

Introducing my party tricks. Admittedly not quite Magician-worthy, and I doubt I'll be getting a call from Mr Ripley any time soon, but they're the best I got! 

1. Eating food with just a fork*
I thought this was a relatively normal thing to do- I mean, I'm using a utensil; it's not like I eat everything with a mayonnaise jar lid or a plastic shark! - but the fact that I never, ever use a knife seems to blow people's minds. Tom actually admitted the other day he's secretly been trying to cook more and more un-fork-friendly food to see if I'll use a knife. I refuse to cave, dammit! 

Photographic evidence of the one time I've used a knife in the last billion years- Fran took this because she wanted to remember the moment forever. In my defence, I *had* to, because we were in grown-up company and the broccoli was undercooked. Stupid broccoli.

2. Shooing flies
Tom actually calls me "The Fly Whisperer" because whenever flies come into the house, I only have to point at an open window and they leave. Sometimes I don't even point, I just say "out"....

Disclaimer: This only works with regular flies. Not mosquitoes, moths, or other winged things. 

3. My "pigeon sense"
In a full embodiment of gender cliché, I am utterly hopeless at reading maps. I know how they work, but I just can't do it. However, once I've physically been someone once, I know how to find my way back. 

I jokingly call this my "pigeon sense", because my Granddad breeds racing pigeons who are able to do a similar thing. HOLY SH*T- I've just thought; maybe he secretly trained me to be the world's first Human Racing Pigeon?!? DUN DUN DUN.

4. Halving stonefruits with my hands
To be honest, I wasn't sure this one should count. I assumed other people did it too (it's not particularly difficult, once you've figured it out) but when I showed it to Fran it seemed to blow her mind. So, here goes- fourth and final trick; I can tear stonefruit (peaches, nectarines, apricots, blah blah) in half with my bare hands! I know, right? Where ISN'T that going to come in useful?!

If you're struggling to think of the things you can do that other people might consider a party trick (or just want a reminder of how damn talented you are!) I'd recommend a peep at this book, and spin-off tumblr - "You Are Good At Things". 

So... what are your party tricks? Please do share! 

*Except for soup and stuff where you need a spoon. That'd just be weird.