Then, a few weeks ago, I finally (and unexpectedly) struck gold whilst in Homebase of all places, where I found this gorgeous chap for under a fiver:
Obviously, I put him straight in my basket, and then hot-footed it to the paint aisle to choose a tester pot in which to douse his head. After serious deliberation, I opted for Cherry Crush from the Home of Colour collection.
I used masking tape to create the straightest line I could, then slapped on three coats of paint. Unfortunately, the paint leaked under the tape in several places; but I managed to scrape most of it off once it had dried. The line's a bit wonkier than my ideal finish, but I'd choose a slightly wobbly line over the £75 price tag of the original any day.