On Monday morning I got up at TEN PAST SIX in the morning to go for my gym induction (they only had a 7.30am slot available- I'm not a sadist), and signed up to a class for every night of the week.
I thought it made more sense to attend structured classes with cheesy music than undertake solitary slogs on the cross-trainer. My lack of self-discipline means I'd probably leave my own workout after 20 minutes, but I'm too stubborn to leave an exercise class that others are managing to do without crying/throwing up.
Ironically, after my gym session, I spent five hours trawling Brighton to find The Ultimate Sports Bra to wear to that evening's Zumba session, and by the time I'd found one (£5 from Primark- they make boobs solid as concrete) I was too exhausted to attend the class. Total fail, but it made me more determined to attend all the other classes I'd booked come Hell or high water....
Tuesday was "Absolute Beginners Aerobics", which involved sweating through hundreds of sets of line dancing moves whilst listening to Cher. Which I (not so secretly) loved because it reminded me of a work-out VHS my Mum used to own.
|80s-tastic Cher Fitness. And, yes, she worked out in those outfits.|
Yesterday I went to 'Wave Power'; recommended to me by the centre's adorable little old lady receptionist. I was expecting some more cheesy-music based aerobics, and only discovered upon entering the class it was in fact weight lifting(!!!) By the end of the class I was hurting in arm muscles I didn't even know I had, but still didn't come out looking like Arnie.
|Perhaps Arnie did two Wave Power classes?|
Strangely, whilst completing six billion squats and hefting a bar-bell, all I could think about was how cross my friend Shaun would be if he could hear the butchered dance remix of Nirvana we were working out too!
Tonight was Zumba, which was quite possibly the most hilarious exercise routine I've done in my life (and that includes a Hip Hop workout DVD I used to own that instructed me to "drop it like it's hot"). When the class began it felt uncomfortably like we were spying on a woman dancing in her kitchen; who was unaware there were two dozen people mimicking her. We progressed into a series of moves that reminded me of the Shake Weight episode of South Park, and finished off dancing round in a circle like we were at a Greek wedding. I was hoping the gym classes might lead to new friendships, and I'm pretty sure nothing helps people to bond more than linking sweaty arms and stamping on each other's toes as they whirl across a basketball court, so fingers crossed I'll soon have some Gym Buddies.
I've already booked onto Zumba and Aerobics again next week; the last classes before everything shuts down for Christmas. Which means if I want to keep up the endorphins I'll have to either use the gym on my own, or go swimming- which sounds like way too much effort on the leg-shaving front to me.